Mum wouldn’t buy me those plesiosaur pants,
‘Won’t get them, darling, not even a chance,
don’t need them, what’s more they cost quite a lot-
big boy like you’ and such mummy-rot,
so we fingered some books in the shop
until she was tired and ready to drop.
Next time, Dad took me, it started to rain
and water squelched into my trainers again,
I cried till snot dribbled out of my nose,
squeezed off my trainers and wiggled my toes,
‘Help me, Daddy!’, I said. ‘Don’t let me catch flu,
I’ll die from a cold and then Mum will blame you!’
Dad was now worried, I made my next move,
as passing the shop I gave him a shove.
‘Dad’ I said, ‘look, quick, behind those old rocks!’
So now you can check out my stegosaur socks.